Idiots Guide To Warming Fingers & Toes. Hint: You're An Idiot

I know what you’re thinking: “How on earth is this self-entitled jackass gonna tell me how to keep warm? This is tantamount to explaining the process of breathing, or how to hear sound!”

You know how breathing just happens, but you can also control it? Well, warmth is sorta similar. It happens but you can control and influence it, and some strategies work better than others.

Along the road to hypothermia your body temperature is falling and your body starts making a few executive decisions:

Warm blood is saved for vital organs and survival. Shivering occurs into order to create some heat. Cold blood stops circulating from fingers and toes to the core to avoid further cooling. So, if your fingers and toes are cold you may be poorly dressed OR, your net body temperature is beginning to drop.

You’ll notice people will only try socially acceptable ways of getting warm. This includes pulling the neck down like a penguin, hopping up and down, jumping jacks, or arm swings. However, the strongest muscle group for most humans are in the legs, so hopping around doesn’t create much heat, but instead, pumps cold air under the jacket.

Result of most socially acceptable warming techniques: you get colder

So, what you actually need to do is create surplus heat. How do you do this? Use muscles at 100% output of force. Try these exercises:

Pushups Planks Sumo wrestling All 3 of these should have you exerting 100% of your muscle power, and create a crazy amount of heat. Then the amazing part happens: your body will try to get rid of the excess heat by circulating heated blood the extremities.

Wait, what? Your body has a mechanism to directly circulate hot blood to cold extremities? Yeah, dummy. Though I can’t help you with your breathing issues or inability to listen, I can teach you how to get really damn warm.

Socially acceptable? No.

Effective? Yes.

Sick gains? Yes.

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